Bell’s Palsy Awareness Week is March 01 – 07. I have been living with Bell’s Palsy for 157 days since I was diagnosed last September 25, 2021. I first heard of Bell’s Palsy when my niece had it a few years ago. Since she is living in Australia and we don’t have much contact, I only Google to find out what it was. Nothing much was being said except she was put on medication. Then my brother had it. This news still did not make much of an impact to me – until one late afternoon I woke up from a short nap and felt an ear ache. I had taken a nap after a sudden sharp pain on the back of my head. An aspirin seemed to help and I went to bed early that night.
The ear ache was still there the next day so I used a heat pad to ease the discomfort. I think I was having an oat porridge when I realized I couldn’t hold it in my mouth. I was drooling. Being a heart attack survivor, I quickly monitor my heart rates and blood pressures. They were a little elevated but nothing to be alarmed about. Shane was ready to bring me to the doctor but I was still hesitant. Then my face started feeling numb and I remembered my niece and brother. With Bell’s Palsy in mind, we drove to the ER and after a quick test, it was confirmed I had Bell’s Palsy. To be cautious I underwent MRI for the brain and EKG for my heart. The results turned up normal. I was given steroids and anti viral medication and told to rest and take it easy.
I woke up, looked at the mirror, screamed and cried! One side of my face was drooping and I had an ugly smile! It was shocking! The transformation overnight was scary. I looked like a scary clown in the movie.
I am usually a positive person so I took this whole new ordeal in stride until the steroid weaned off and I was in intense pain – ALL THE TIME. I found that my right eye doesn’t blink, I have to tape my eye lid to ensure it was closed tight at night. I splattered water everywhere when I brushed my teeth. I had to use a straw to drink. I needed a teaspoon to push food into the good side of my mouth to eat. I was constantly exhausted and in a lot of pain. There were times when my tears just fell. The symptoms didn’t come all at once. A week in, my lymph nodes became swollen and my speech worsen. I also realized I lost my sense of taste and I developed ringing in my ears.
I found an online physio therapist who taught me some massages and exercises for my face. It was painful but I followed her instructions religiously. I held on to the belief that it will go away within 2 – 4 weeks as stated in many online sources. I call BS on it! Yes, there are mild cases that went away during this period of time BUT mine according to my therapist was a mild case too. I looked in the mirror every day looking for some sign of movement. Any movement. I took vitamins recommended by fellow sufferers. I tried to stay positive, most days I was but some days I was a wreck. I thanked God it wasn’t a stroke, then upset my face was so damaged. I felt guilty for being ungrateful, guilty for showing weakness and complaining of pain when I see my husband suffering in silence with his chronic pain. I can’t paint, can’t work on my laptop because my eye would hurt so much. I got into a routine of getting out of bed, attempted to brush my teeth, drank my smoothie, worked on my exercises and dumped myself on the couch – every day. I stopped looking myself in the mirror unless it was for exercise. I eventually had my breakdown and cried my heart out. My husband has been so supportive, waiting for me to reach a point of acceptance and patience whilst making fun of the situation and made me laugh.
Bell’s Palsy not only affect me physically but emotionally as well. I have a supportive husband and joined a Facebook support group. I read more about this ‘disease’ and found it could attack just about anyone at any age. From young toddlers, pregnant women to the elderly. There is still no cure for it. Some people have had it more than once and on both sides of the face. Some had to have surgeries.
It’s been over 5 months for me. I am about 90% healed but still struggle with certain words and I drool when I get too tired. There’s still ringing in my ear. I wear an eye patch especially when I am in a heated room/area. Dry warm air hurt my eye. My smile is still not 100% and I’m still very conscious about it. I’m doing weight exercises for my mouth and cheek area now. The right side of my face still feel numb and I avoid going out in the cold as much as possible because it can hurt afterwards. I’m positive I will heal 100% eventually yet I am also afraid it will come back. So afraid I will develop synkinesis (miswiring of muscles movements).
I’m sharing my story to bring awareness to Bell’s Palsy and how it could hurt a person mentally and emotionally. I was ‘broken’ for a few months but I have accepted to being PERFECTLY IMPERFECT. Reach out to someone if you feel isolated. Join a support group. Since beginning of this year, I have changed my perspective on life – living in the present and just be grateful to be alive and doing things that I CAN STILL do. Friends and family will know this because I’ve been experimenting with food again.
Information on Bell’s Palsy HERE.